Sandra @ My Fiction Nook

This was a good story with, I'm sorry to say, rather bad writing. The dialogue was stiff and inorganic, and the narrative felt dry and boring, and in some cases read like a glossy brochure advertising the city of Jacksonville, Florida.

 

Which is sad, because it's the location of the story that drew me to it initially (I'm very familiar with the city), plus the major plot point that's being hinted at in the blurb. But OMG, do your research. Nobody who just had a part of their colon and their rectum removed, and a colostomy bag attached is going to eat a freaking hamburger, even if it's from The Loop. That is major freaking surgery, and no hospital, not even a crappy military one, will allow that. Also, while we're talking about hospitals, St. Vincent is, if I'm not completely mistaken, the local Catholic hospital, and while I don't know this for a fact, I had to question the possibility of them hiring someone who's openly homosexual, as that might go against any morality clauses in their contract. I also questioned the validity of someone who's going to have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of his life, serving as a surgical RN in a sterile OR.

 

While the author had pretty much all the landmarks down pat, I didn't need to be told (even if I hadn't lived there and knew all this already), that the Fuller Warren was once a draw bridge on an Interstate, and how the bridges are painted in different colors, and how all those special areas of Jacksonville are all so very special. Okay, so the anecdote about the Baptist Church being directly across from the Bathhouse was funny ironic, but that was about it. Leave the advertising for the city to the travel folks. It's one thing for an author to make a few points about a city you love (and where you possibly live), but driving that home again and again and again just makes your story boring and your writing stiff and annoying. 

 

And oh, the dialogue. I don't know anyone in their late thirties who talks like that.

 

"Irv, old buddy. How the heck are you?" 

 

The Irv in question here is a Navy guy our hero picked up on his way to Jacksonville. They stayed in a hotel overnight and fucked. Old buddy? I think not. Though, buddy as a term of endearment is used over and over and over, ad nauseam, and it seems to be the only endearment Chris is comfortable using.

 

While in the bathhouse with Irv:

 

"What's not to like?" Irv said. "It's just sex, sex, and more sex, and it's uncomplicated sex at that."

 

"Sounds good. Meanwhile, I'm going to cool off in the pool."

 

Uhm, hello? Irv is a young kid, in his early 20s maybe, and seriously, I'm supposed to believe he talks like that? Secondly, the response by Chris doesn't even come close to being an actual answer. Are they actually talking to each other? Or is this some special form of gay small talk I'm not aware of? It felt inorganic, stilted and stiff. Add to this the fact that all actual sex happens off screen – there isn't an explicit scene to be found and without any emotional involvement, I didn't buy the developing romance towards the end. Sex is talked about, but only had off the pages.

 

The inclusion of the entire cast from previous Avondale novels was also a bit tedious. While most of them served their purpose, and while I liked them all, I found it unusual that someone so new to the city would stumble over all these wonderful, interconnected people who then immediately include him in their circle. Nice, if a bit dystopian. The timeframe in which these characters were introduced was also too rapid for me to keep them all straight. Other readers might not have this issue. 

 

Considering that the story primarily deals with Chris' cancer and surgery and the subsequent discovery of the medical fuck-up (this is apparently based on a true story, as the author says in the afterword), I would have liked to see him get much deeper on the emotional level. Alas, the writing stayed superficial, with much telling and very little showing. 

 

I didn't mind his initial portrayal as being a bit of a sex fiend - jumping from one encounter to the next meaningless encounter, going to the bathhouse for multiple meaningless encounter - I'm sure that sort of thing happens aplenty. What didn't gel for me was his pining for his friend, and then the sudden 180 when the two of them confess their love for each other and are immediately exclusive. 

 

If there had been some real character development, instead of the superficial one we got to see from Chris, this story would have rated higher. I also struggled with the heaviness of the topics raised (cancer, botched surgery, sexual abuse) because the writing didn't delve deeply enough into those issues. I can see how the overall message is probably supposed to be that life isn't a fairy tale, and that love doesn't fix it all, but the book only skimmed along the surface without ever diving below the water.

 

The above is explained to an extent in the author's note – where the author states that he didn't really want to write more realistic scenes of Chris' suffering after surgery. Uhm, okay then.

 

I received a free ARC from the publisher. A positive review was not promised in return.